When you go to a strip club, there are certain rules you need to follow, both written and unwritten.

If you break a written rule – like “no fighting” or “no groping the dancers” – a bouncer will throw you out on your ear.

But if you break an unwritten rule, you’ll look like a tool. Don’t risk it. Make sure you understand – and follow – these strip club commandments:

• Do not kiss her – You have no idea where a stripper’s mouth has been. Assume the worst.
• Do not ask for her number – Trying to pick up a stripper at a strip club is pathetic. Don’t confuse romance with commerce.
• Do not compliment her perfume – It’s not perfume. It’s high-powered antibacterial spray that prevents her from getting cooties.
• Don’t ask for her “real” name – Of course her mom didn’t name her Sapphire or Jinx. It really doesn’t matter, so don’t ask.
• Don’t go alone – There’s not much creepier than guys who go to strip clubs alone.
• Don’t fall in love with a stripper – These women are looking for cash, not soul mates. You’ll never be a boyfriend to her. The best you can hope for is to be considered a “regular.”